As soon as we recognize that we are caterpillars living in a world full of caterpillars (if that doesn’t make sense, read the introductory post), we will have a tendency to begin to devise a ranking system for all of the caterpillars. We see that some may be more colorful, some may be fuzzier, some may climb higher in the trees, and we begin once again to put ourselves down when we don’t measure up to someone else’s progress.
Remember that we’re all in the process of being transformed. We will all become butterflies.
But until then, we have our lives to live right now. The lives we have to live are made up of three parts, I believe. We have our past, a conglomerate of memories and experiences that are both good and bad that have shaped our very fibers to who we are right now, which is the second part.
Who we are right now is made up of who we’ve been, who we want to be and how to get there. I think that this is a delicate balance. We can easily spend too much time focusing on who we’ve been. When we do this, we will remember positive or negative things from our past and these will bring about a kind of disgust (Why am I not that good person anymore?) or shame (Why did I let that happen?). We have to learn how to heal from our pasts if we want to be at our best in our present, and that takes a lot of work! We can also easily spend too much time thinking about who we will become, again with a positive or negative spin. When we think too much about how we want to be so good, it can lead to depression (Why am I the way I am?) or when we think about the trials we may continue to face it can lead to anxiety (When will I be healthy? Will I ever get past this struggle I’m facing now?). In our present, we have to balance who we’ve been with who we want to become.
Who we want to be and how to get there is the third part of ourselves. I say it this way because I think it is important to not just imagine what we want and expect it to happen. I saw an online advertisement where I could apply for a role in a popular movie franchise. If I were to envision myself in the movie and expect it to happen, I would be highly unlikely to receive that role. If I were to fill out an online application without any acting experience (or physical training…) and envision myself in the movie, I might have slightly better odds but they’re still miniscule. If I were to commit myself to practicing acting, to working out, to move to Hollywood, to try to network and find and meet the right people because I envision myself in this movie, only then would I have a chance of making it. We have to have the same mindset when it comes to improving ourselves in any way, and particularly in the case of faith. If we say, “I want future me to look like Jesus,” but we don’t take any time coming to learn who he is from the Scripture, or spending any time in prayer, or practicing love for others by communicating with them and putting their needs before my own, then how can I expect to succeed in becoming who I want? The planning of how we are going to get to where we want to go is crucial in forming the third part of ourselves.
As we try to bring these three parts in line, it is important for us to recognize that there are obstacles to overcome in all three areas. We have to look back and figure out where we’ve come from, we have to look in the present and recognize our struggles, we have to decide on how we will become our future selves. That is our starting point, and that is what we have to work with, and God can work with that!
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